“And now I'm going to tell you who you are, really are. You are Peter, a rock” (Matt 16:17 Message).

Alan didn’t know his father would die from a heart attack at age 39. If he had, maybe he would have bit his tongue.

“I hate you!” he declared one day in anger. The words slipped out of his mouth faster than a spit wad out of a straw. Unfortunately, they were the last words he ever spoke to his father. 

The angry outburst would haunt Alan for years. Tormented by the anguish he feared would never be resolved, Alan spent many nights trying to swathe his sorrow.

Final dialogues are often echoes in our mind. They ricochet back and forth while an invisible amplifier magnifies their volume. Imagine Jesus’ last words to Peter. “Before the cock crows twice, you will deny me three times.”

“Never!” declared Peter. And yet, later, when he heard the rooster’s crows, the sting of this unimaginable prediction pierced Peter.

The word “deny” comes from the Greek word, aparneomai, which means to affirm that one has no acquaintance or connection with someone. Like a divine annulment, Peter was saying the love he felt for Christ never existed. And he didn’t just simply state he didn’t know Christ; Peter added some colorful dialogue that Matthew edited out of his gospel. In his manner-of-fact tone, Matthew writes, Then began he to curse and to swear, [saying], I know not the man. And as soon as the dreadful words rolled off his tongue, Matthew records with the precision of a dramatic Hollywood screenplay: Immediately the cock crew (Matt 26:74 KJV).

Yes, Peter the apostle was a wimpy coward and yet, just ten chapters earlier, Christ said this to him: “God himself, let you in on this secret of who I really am. And now I'm going to tell you who you are, really are. You are Peter, a rock (Matt 16:17 Message).

It’s hard to imagine, but here was a man whom Jesus said was so rock solid that he would build his church on the strength of his soul, and nonetheless the same man was capable of denying and cursing his savior. And now, from across the courtyard Peter’s shame-filled eyes met the eyes of Christ.  And with the guilt of a murder suspect caught with a blood on his hands, the rock-solid disciple ran away.

Peter’s final words to someone he loved—an angry outburst.

A regretted curse.

A grave mistake.

In a way, seeing Peter’s faults offers me hope. It makes me realize just how imperfect the disciples were. They weren’t superhuman heroes. The men Jesus picked to be his closest companions were normal men—men who make mistakes, men who were prone to failure, and men who cowered under the pressure of fear. Men, and women, just like us.

Thankfully, for every time we fail, His mercy prevails. After his resurrection, Jesus asked Peter three times, “Peter, do you love me?” He didn’t just ask him once. Jesus wanted to clear the slate. For each of the three times Peter denied knowing him, Jesus gave Peter three opportunities to make it right.   

What about you? Have you ever cursed God or hurled angry words at someone you love?

I hate you!

You can’t do anything right!

I want a divorce!

No matter how grave our mistakes, Jesus longs to remove the burden of our guilt. Christ saw Peter’s future with telepathic vision. Looking past his denial, he saw the intended result of Peter’s life, when the Christian coward would morph into a solid-rock guardian of truth.

Christ sees your future, too. He sees past your riveting regrets and grave mistakes. Will you let him reconcile your failures? Just like Peter, His grace makes your future rock solid.

Prayer: Jesus, I am so thankful that you chose someone like me, despite my failures. You are so loving and kind. You call forth character in me before I’m even capable. You love me when I do the right thing and even when I fail. Thank you for loving me and for extending your grace to cover my sins. Through your strength and mercy, I can be a solid rock. Amen.

Scriptures to Ponder:

• Then Jesus said to his disciples, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” (Matthew 16:24).
• For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me (Psalm 51:3).
• When we were overwhelmed by sins, you forgave our transgressions (Psalms 65:3).
• For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do (Ephesians 2:10).

Questions to Ponder:

1. Have you ever walked in denial? Denial is human nature. Read Matthew 16:20 above. According to this scripture, how must we shift our denial in order to walk with Christ?
2. Have you ever imagined that the disciples were perfect? How does it make you feel to realize that the disciples were people just like us, who sinned and made mistakes?  
3. Read the scriptures from Psalms above. When you are overwhelmed by your failures, how can you find comfort?
4. Whatever we focus on is magnified. If we focus on our failures, even after we’ve been forgiven, we often get stuck in despair. If we focus on our future, we are filled with hope. Which is your tendency and why?
5. Read Ephesians 2:10 above. When Christ called Peter a rock, he already knew Peter would deny him. What failures is Christ overlooking in your life? How do you think Christ can use your failures to transform your future?

Who can count the dust of Jacob, and the number of the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his! Numbers 23:10

 

Do you ever have dreams that you can’t shake? Dreams that you instinctively know are not gibberish, but contain a message from God?

 

At first glance, many dreams from God don’t make much sense. It may take a time of prayer and seeking God to discover their meaning. While the way that God speaks to you in a dream will probably be different that the way He speaks to me, there is a commonality in dreams from the Lord: God uses imagery that is familiar to us.

 

When my son, Garrett, was young he dreamed about being an action figure or cartoon. He was either Buzz Lightyear, the space ranger, being chased by a mob of tiny green toy soldiers or Thomas the Tank Engine running for president. Once he was Barney battling Battlestar Galactica. My daughter dreamed about cheerleading and candy bars. My husband—well, that’s simple…he dreams about cars.  

 

Me? My dreams almost always deal with houses and rooms. I’m sure it’s because I like to decorate and that is an easy way for God to get my attention.

 

Recently, I had a dream that I lived in a mansion with so many rooms that I couldn’t count them all. Normally a mansion would be an impressive feature to have in a dream. For me, not so much. I knew it didn’t mean that I was going to strike it rich and move to Beverly Hills. Through previous journaling and prayer I have discovered that a house in my dreams usually represents me and the rooms in my dreams usually represent neglected areas of my life. Ouch!

 

In my dream, I was going around the house to check all the doors to make sure that they were locked before I went to bed. As I walked through the living room, I was surprised to find my father sitting in a rocking chair, patiently waiting for me to come to talk with him. Although my father had passed away the year before, I knew that my dad represented God in the dream. He smiled and motioned for me to sit down.

 

“Where’s the container of my ashes?” he gently asked.

 

The “container” was one of my least favorite items. Ever since I had dropped and cracked it, it had been stuffed in the back of my closet.

 

“Oh, that? Ummm. It’s around here somewhere. But didn’t you notice the pictures of you throughout my house?”

 

“Yes, but the container…”

 

I didn’t think that the container matched my décor. It was rather unimpressive. I wondered why “my father” hadn’t selected a more striking vessel to display His legacy.

 

“I have a lot of your quotes hanging on my wall, too.” I beamed. “Every time I look at them they remind me of you. And the book you wrote—did you notice it on my night stand?”

 

“Yes,” he replied, “but the container of my ashes is most important to me.”

 

A container of ashes? Hmm. Why was God was only interested in ashes?

 

When I woke up, I wanted to crawl back under the covers. I couldn’t believe that I had been so unfaithful and dishonorable. How could I have ignored my father’s wishes?

 

As I considered the imagery in the dream, it was clear that I had chosen to put my own priorities before my Father’s wishes. I grieved my Father by not cherishing what was most important to him—the ashes. Instead, I decided what was worthy enough for display.

 

God was only interested in the remains of a burnt offering, remnants of a life lived for His glory…and my ashes were tucked away and forgotten in a cracked pot.   

 

Since my dream, I’ve given a lot of thought to ashes and why God is so concerned about burnt remains. Here are a few things I found:

 

 

 

• Ashes were used to sanctify, cleanse and purify from sin. (Numbers 9:19, Hebrews 9:13).

• A burnt offering is a pleasing fragrance to God. (Numbers 28:6).

• Ashes are evidence of a fire, the remains of a burning passion.

• God makes beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3).

• Our bodies were inspired by God and created from ashes (Genesis 2:7).

• Ashes represent what is left over after we are gone, what remains when our life is over.

• Ashes are almost impossible to remove. If our life reflects Christ, we will leave a lasting legacy of hope. On the other hand, if we give our time to unworthy pursuits, the mark we make on this life will be nothing more than an annoying smudge.

 

Ashes embody the heritage we leave behind for our descendents. In this case, a fried life is actually a good thing. So what about you? What legacy will your life leave? What do you want the ashes of your life to say about you? What will others inhale when you exhale?

 

Prayer: Father, forgive me for the times I have not proudly displayed a burning passion for You in my life. Help me put the things that are important to you first in my life so that I can leave a lasting legacy of hope to inspire future generations to follow your will. In Christ’s name, I pray. Amen.

 

Scriptures to Consider:

 

• And the LORD God formed man of the dust (dry earth, dust, powder, ashes, earth, ground, mortar, rubbish) of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Genesis 2:7

• Who can count the dust of Jacob, and the number of the fourth part of Israel? Let me die the death of the righteous, and let my last end be like his! Numbers 23:10

• …and provide for those who grieve in Zion—to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. Isaiah 61:3

• All flesh shall perish together, and man shall turn again unto dust. Job 34:15 
 

Questions to Ponder:

 

1. Ashes are evidence of a fire, the remains of a burning passion. Think of someone you admire. What kind of “ashes” do you think their life will leave behind?

 

2. Why do you think God is interested in ashes?

 

3. Which of the following do you think ashes represents?

     

     A financial inheritance 
     Descendants 
     Godly pursuits 
     Character 
     Legacy 
     Ministry 
     Other

 

4. What do you want to the ashes of your life to say about you when you are gone?

 

5. If you were to die today, how would your ashes reveal these intentions?

 

6. What changes in your life do you need to make in order for your ashes to be an accurate reflection of your heart?

 

© Christy Johnson 2009