Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man (Proverbs 3:3-4).

When I first accepted Christ, I had heard how much God loved me. I was the apple of his eye. I was his beloved. Right? Not so much. The truth was that those scriptures were really just idealistic verses of poetry to me. They sounded romantically religious, like lines in a Shakespearian play where lovers bequeath their love for each other. It was years before the Biblical truths blasted past the concrete barriers of my mind and found their way into my withered heart. For the first decade of my conversion, they were merely fragments of head knowledge floating around my injured intellect. Like verses a kindergartner memorizes in Sunday school, I could recite them, but they did nothing to change my reality. Despite how much God supposedly loved me, my lovesick heart was still lovesick. I still desperately craved approval.

For years, I continued to pursue my worth from friends and relationships. Because of the deep void in my soul and my nagging insecurities, I was in constant pursuit. I needed large daily fixes to sustain my wounded soul.

It wasn’t until I completely exhausted all other means of filling my soul that I finally looked up and asked God for his help. He was my last resort, not my first. But he waited patiently. He didn’t even seem to mind being last, and, interestingly, he held nothing back. When my soul awakened to how satisfying his love and favor can be, I never craved a substitute again. In one divine encounter at the end of my rope, I discovered how madly God loves me. That’s when he completely liberated me from the opinions of others. From that day almost twenty years ago, sitting on my worn out beige sofa from Oklahoma Discount Furniture, my heart felt rich. It really no longer mattered what others thought of me. As long as I had God’s approval, what others thought barely mattered. I was no longer a kindergarten Christian. I finally got it. I understood his love. As a grown up believer, it somehow sounded more mature to say I didn’t care what people thought about me. The desire for applause was a weakness. And that’s been my stance for years.

Until this week when an article about me appeared in the Religion section of The Oklahoman.

I'm not going to lie. I’ve loved the applause. It's been very affirming when friends and family and people I respect or even people I barely know congratulate me on the article or jokingly call me celebrity. I’ve struggled with prideful thoughts, especially when a prominent leader in the faith-based community sent me a copy of the article in the mail as a thoughtful gesture. She noticed. Oh my gosh! A Christian big shot took the time to clip the article, look up my address and put it in an envelope and mail it to me. I must definitely be somebody now. If she and the newspaper both acknowledged my efforts that’s absolute proof—I’ve made it big time and there’s no stopping me now. Just let me have my day in the limelight soaking in all the sunshine. After that you can call me Big Time Christian Celebrity Christy.

Okay…I’m exaggerating a bit. But seriously, having to sort through the onslaught of thoughts along with the guilt that accompanied the applause factor has made me reevaluate my former conclusion that the opinions of others don’t matter to me. Obviously they still do. The joy I’ve felt from others congrats felt, well…amazing. It made me smile. I felt immensely validated. I know ultimately it's God's opinion that matters most to me, but is it sinful that I’ve enjoyed the accolades? Am I puffed with pride if it feels good when others applaud what God is doing in my life? It is wrong that I’ve enjoyed a day of celebrity status?

Proverbs 3:3-4 says this: Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man.

In the past I used to desire the favor of man first and foremost. If God wanted to chime in and give me a wink, that was a bonus, but I’d settle for just having man’s approval. The opinions of humans trumped the divine, but I had it all backwards. That’s why my applause bucket never got full. There’s a reason this scripture mentions God first. He should be the first one we want to win favor and a good name from. Man is secondary. That’s the divine order. God’s favor is the prerequisite to achieve anything eternal. Without his favor, any kingdom work we complete with mere human effort is an artificial accomplishment, a divine knockoff.

According to this scripture, however, when I acknowledge the divine order, the outcome of love and faithfulness is favor not only with the king, but with the kingdom as well. Honestly, I’m quite relieved. The word has put my heart at ease that no, it’s not wrong to enjoy the applause. As long as my motive is to please the creator and not the crowd, a good name is the natural result of divine favor.

We all need witnesses to our life. It affirms our calling when others acknowledge our victories and share our successes. I used to think it was a weakness to crave approval, but now I realize God created us to crave approval—his approval. Counterfeit approval can derail our destiny, but when we have the applause of heaven, the great cloud of witnesses drives us toward our destiny. It’s when we first have the favor of God and man recognizes that favor that we can truly accomplish his work.

This Week's Giveaway: Post a comment to enter. Next Monday, April 30, 2012, I'll select one of you at random to win a copy of God, Girls and Getting Connected, Spiritual Apps for a Teen's Life.

To win favor and a good name in the sight of God is divine. To win the favor and a good name in the sight of God and man is divinely delightful.

In our performance driven world, even as Christian women who love the Lord, often we put aside our joy until we feel we’ve earned the right to have it. Amanda is tired every day. Tired of potty training. Tired of taking little Ethan back and forth to the toilet, especially for false alarms. “It seems like that’s all I do all day long,” says Amanda, “but when I get him potty trained, then I’ll relax and enjoy life again.” Amanda is too focused on her issue to realize it now, but she’s too stressed to be happy.

Debbie is dealing with an entirely different issue. Struggling to balance her career, family and the responsibilities of taking care of her aging mother, her only pleasurable indulgence is her nightly ritual of hot fudge and ice cream. “After everyone’s in bed, it’s the only time I have to completely unwind,” says Debbie. “That’s when I remind myself, it won’t always be like this. Someday, I’ll get my life back.” Debbie feels guilty for being happy for too long. As soon as the ice cream melts, it’s time to get back to reality.

Courtney is goal driven. Propelled by her vision to build her business, she won’t allow herself an opportunity to rest until she reaches her goal. Her determination to build her future leaves no room for distractions. To her, rejuvenation is a time waster. She’s driven by a vision void of joy. “When I reach my goal, then I’ll celebrate big time. But now…it’s time to build.”

So how would you answer this question? When I finally _____________, then I’ll be happy.

It’s a cruel deception. Achieving your goal is not the thing that should bring happiness. It’s the journey and opportunity itself. Let me encourage you. Don't put off your joy! Nehemiah 8:10 says that the joy of the Lord is our strength. How can we accomplish anything without strength? The enemy has twisted the truth. So many of us believe that we don’t deserve to be happy until we reach our goal, but here’s the truth: Joy is not the prize for reaching your goal, it's the power to get there!

So quit saying when I finally whip my marriage, my kids or my body in shape, then I’ll be joyful. Embrace the strength of God and walk in joy today!

Prayer: Dear Lord, I realize how much I’ve deprived myself of the joy I need to live my life. Please forgive me for all the times I’ve tried to do things in my own strength. Help me to receive all your joy and power so I can walk each day in your strength. In Christ’s name. Amen

Want to win a free copy of Chicken Soup's latest release, Messages from Heaven? Simply post a comment below. You can answer the question about what tends to be your "when-then" or simply make any other comment. I'll pick the winner Monday, March 26, 2012. Be sure to include your email address so I can contact you if you are the winner.

Have you ever felt like a misfit? Like an accidentally shrunk good-for-nothing ugly sweater, rejected by its owner and donated to Goodwill?

I have. At one point, I doubted God could ever do anything with the mess my life was in. But that is God’s specialty. God turns misfits into champions.

That’s what he did with the men who followed David. When David first began building his army, 1 Samuel 22 says that the only men who wanted to follow him were the misfits, those in debt and those who were in distress. Imagine being called by God to be the king of Israel and the only people who recognized your calling were the wimps. These men were not Olympic material. These men were a brood of losers!

Well somehow, these wimps became warriors. These misfits are the same men that eventually became David’s famous mighty men. I find it encouraging that God didn't pick the best. Instead, He transformed the worst. How did that happen? The same way he transforms us—through hardships, through struggles, through pain, through facing our issues and refusing to allow misfortune to overcome us.

God takes the least likely to succeed and if we allow him, he transforms our pain into purpose. He takes the misfits and makes them mighty.

That reminds me of a craft project I just finished.

I’ve wanted to make this project for quite awhile, but sometimes a vision has to wait. The inspiration has to proceed the transformation. A couple of years ago I bought a wool sweater at a garage sale for a couple of dollars. I didn’t want to wear the sweater. I wanted to repurpose it. I wanted to make a pillow out of it. When I saw the sweater lying in a pile of unwanted clothing, I didn’t see a misfit, I envisioned the finished product—a beautiful sweater pillow like one I had seen at Pottery Barn.

But first, I knew I would need to shrink the sweater.

Shrink a perfectly good wool sweater on purpose? Yes!

If you’ve ever washed and dried a wool sweater you know it ends up a fraction of its former size. But there’s an amazing feel to shrunk felted wool. The texture is phenomenal. It’s dense and course. It’s tough and thick. It’s been through the heat and it has come out refined and more beautiful than ever.

Repurposing this sweater reminds me of a dear friend who is going through a really tough time. God is healing some major issues in her life. Let’s just call her Amanda. Amanda feels like a rejected shrunk sweater, a fraction of her former size. But God’s specialty is redesigning lives. He takes the pain, the misery, the brokenness and refashions it all into something far better.

Of course, like Amanda is experiencing, we all have to go through some stuff to get onto the better. The process of getting smaller so God can use us bigger is not fun, but the finished product is beautiful.

So if you feel like a misfit, if you feel like you’re going through the wringer and getting squeezed, remember…God can use you better smaller. Just like he did with David’s mighty men, he takes the misfits and makes them mighty! And when he is through with you, you’ll be the inspiration for a whole new project.

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Earlier this month John told me he was ditching his plans to write a New Year’s resolution.

I couldn’t believe my ears. My man of no-compromise was bowing out of the game. “What’s up with that?” I asked.

“Resolutions only last a month or so,” he sighed. “What I really need is a New Year’s revelation!”

What a powerful thought.

A few days ago while watching the trailer for the movie, New Year’s Eve, a comment in the middle of the preview stunned him: “A resolution can become a revelation.”

What an awesome validation.

The reality is that 100 percent of people who make resolutions intend to keep them, but the facts are that 80 percent of people who make New Year’s resolutions will eventually break them. Most won’t even make it until the end of January. So how can we make them stick?

Many of us will resolve to lose weight, eat healthier, get out of debt and spend more time with our families. One of my friends resolved last year to go on a man-ban. No dating for an entire year. She lasted two months. She was serious, but she needed more than her own strength. Another friend resolved to lose 30 pounds. Instead, she gave up after she put on ten more. Like so many do, my friends made New Year’s resolutions, but they ultimately gave up. Why do so many break our resolutions? We have the desire, we have the goal and we’ve even written it down, which is supposedly the magical requirement for obtaining our goals. What are we missing?

Listen to what the book of Proverbs says: Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint (Proverbs 29:18 NIV).

The NLT puts it this way: When people do not accept divine guidance, they run wild.

The NASB says this: Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained.

Whether it’s the lack of revelation, divine guidance or vision, here’s the bottom line: In order to achieve a human goal, we need divine direction.

When temptation taunts our own ideas, temptation usually wins. When a vision is God’s idea, however, the revelation empowers us to maintain our focus.

When John and I started dating, we knew nothing about God’s plan for relationships. By the time he had proposed, we were buried in the standards of the world. I knew we weren’t supposed to be sleeping together, but my resolve wasn’t strong enough to overcome the temptation. After all, everyone else was having sex.

But then I had a revelation.

One day the Lord spoke firmly to me. “Christy, I have a gift to give you and John, but the only way you can receive it is through abstinence.”

All of my life, I had heard the “no-sex-until-marriage” rule. But that’s all it was—a rule. A “should not”. A mustn’t. But for the first time, God was adding revelation, divine guidance and vision to strengthen my resolve. And best of all, there was a prize for compliance. I had never heard that before. All of a sudden my human efforts had reinforcements! I had never felt so empowered to practice restraint. Previously, my own willpower had always failed. But with the revelation of heaven, the last eight months of our courtship were spent building and strengthening our spiritual and emotional relationship, not our physical relationship. I wanted that prize!

On January 1, 1999, we got the gift. Now 13 years later, that same revelation continues to empower our resolve. Even though we can have all the sex we want now, the strength we gained from exercising restraint during our courtship strengthened our resolve to follow God’s standards when other types of challenges came after we got married. Just because we’re married doesn’t mean we no longer need to abstain from temptation. It’s just that the temptations are different. After marriage, we need to abstain from the temptation to criticize, blame, argue and take offense.

So what about you? What do you need a revelation for? What things do you hope to achieve this year? As you begin reflecting on your plans for 2012, let me encourage you to pray about them and write them down, but most importantly—ask the Lord for a revelation to strengthen your will power. A resolution that sticks is one that adds divine vision to human strength. Don’t be one of the 80 percent that give up before the month’s end. If you keep the vision of heaven, you will succeed!